The Kingdom of Santa Guarda is a massive, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by SM Dom Paulo VI with a fair hand, and renowned for its daily referendums, compulsory military service, and ubiquitous missile silos. The democratic, devout population of 1.138 billion Santa Guardans are known throughout the region for their efficiency and work ethic, as well as their general suspicion of leisure.

The large, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Welfare, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of São Lourenço. The average income tax rate is 47.1%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The Santa Guardan economy, worth 48.5 trillion escudoes a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Uranium Mining, Automobile Manufacturing, and Pizza Delivery. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 42,586 escudoes, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.6 times as much as the poorest.

Conspiracy theorists allege São Lourenço's new subway map resembles Satanic symbols, there is something rotten in the state of Santa Guarda, every spring railroad foundations erode to reveal human remains, and a major religion has been named as Santa Guarda's national religion. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Santa Guarda's national animal is the parrot, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

Santa Guarda is ranked 86,058^th in the world and 3,871^st in Osiris for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 50.5 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.